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so sleep alone tonight
Hello there, I'm a 19-year-old male student and also boyfriend of this chicken Agnes Tan.I like Agnes but I like to eat dabiann more than I like her. Because like is not the correct word, the correct word is Love. I've figured that I already lost my sanity a long time ago. And so, blah blah blah. I'm just going to keep doing this. I hope you like what I done for you. |
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about this blog
This blog was opened by Heng Zheng Xiang to accomodate Heng Zheng Xiang's mindless musings and daily rantings. It is also to let my Agnes to know about my daily activities.Do enjoy your stay here, and don't take what's not yours! tagboard
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Design: doughnutcrazyIcon: morphine_kissed Do credit accordingly if you changed the icon. |
I want you to read this with a non-rage emotion, if you super angry and piss off now, then I think you should off it and not read further more until you think you wont angry le then you come back and read. Cause idw you to read this with the angry emotion then you just think that everything I say here is bullshit. So still here right? Ok good, then idk what to say to you to be honest. But ok, it's not like I never use my head to think what I did or what, but what you argue with me now is something that we had fight over it for alot of times and I alr admit wrong le, but you still want to take it back to argue. Like why, it a perfectly normal and good sunday, but you have to bring this matter up and argue. I mean like ok i get it you not happy, but we alr argue about it multiple times why still bring it up again when we alr argue so much about it. You think and ask yourself, since that time I went to find you at your house below to 'settle' this thing about arguing, you say as long i dont talk to girls and lie to you you wont argue with me, did i not keep that promise ? Since that time I didn't even lie about anything or talk to anyone, but you also promise not to argue for no reason and not to bring up the past of what we argue before, did you do it? And you always talk about me not being fair or selfish or dont care about you or me not making any effort. How am I not making any effort when I am blogging everyday to tell you what I did so that I dont hide anything so that you wont feel that I 'lie' to you? How am I not making any effort when you tell me to treat you better, I where got never make effort, you say I never jio you out, ok then I change ok I jio you. You dare say this last week or so is not I ask to meet de? I'm not out here writing this post to point out all your mistake ok, but think it through, do you really you think you treat me fairly or even treat me like a human? You are possessive I get it, I try my best to give in to what you want as long as its not too ridiculous for me. Not everything is about you you know? All the time it's about what you want and what you expect from me, have I ever expect alot from you? All I want is just not to argue all the time, 1-2 days of not arguing doesnt make it not arguing all the time, its the same as arguing all the time ok. You yourself know how it feels that I do something that you dont like, then how will I feel when you do something I dont like? To be fair, you say I lie and talk to girls, the times I did that is not even alot ok? I last time do also not do it all the time, then compared to now you arguing over everything all the time, you said you suffer alot, not only me. But you ask yourself, ask your own heart, the amount of suffering you felt is it even on par with mine ? Like I have to deal with your arguments for every few days, some will last continously for a few days, do you think I really dont suffer? Then ok you say you want to stop arguing, you say before we stop, you want me to say that you're the best and that my friend is not better than you. So what does it have to do with you want to stop arguing anot? Like does it matter what I think? So what if i think you're better than her? Or so what if I think that she is better? Like why does what I think even matters? What matters most is that I didnt even have anything going on, and its you that I am spending time with everyday texting or meeting up or whatever. Like what attention i have is given to you, my past doesnt even matter you know ? Like why are you so affected by my past? So what if my friend is someone i used to love ? So what if we still remain as friends? So what ? Like im with you now am I not? Like my past is just a past it doesnt even affect anything at all. Why get so bothered by it? I dont even bother about your past, you have your life before i met you, its just a normal thing that you have male friends, its normal that you have some one you loved before, so what ? Like whats impt that now its me with you and not those people that you used to be with right? You think that I am wrong to still be friend with someone that I used to love, to talk to someone that I used to love. Like its just a friend and nth more, like I said its not only about you. You say I am wrong but I dont think it is wrong. So how? Now we got different opinions on things, then no one give in then cant solve this problem alr luhh? Then ok fine you say delete contact dont talk ever again, i delete and dont talk alr. I alr give in, but you still want to take it out to talk agn, I alr give in to you alr due to our difference views in this matter. But it is still not enough for you? Why still argue again. I dont get it really, did I really seems like I not doing anything or put in effort at all after doing all this? Ask yourself really. Ok enough of you, I know you cfm think not fair I keep only saying your bad, never say mine. Ok I admit I should not ignore you, but I cant you know, the more I argue with you, the more piss off i get at how I feel you being unreasonable, like I so angry that I can feel my inside going to burst out alr, I cant you know. And the only way is to stop replying and ignore you so that I can like cool down to think through, then ok I jiu reply you after i feel alot better thinking I can deal with you alr, but no I cant, like after so long never reply, then you also like still the same mood, never cool down like me me, then is like why, I can you know, it makes me hate my position at that point, make me hate everything about life, i freaking hate it. Then forget it I just have to stop replying and i decide to only reply the next day. I have to collect my thoughts and think through how am I going to approach you so that we both get what we want. Then I decided on typing all this out here. And I did not block you on fb, i deleted my facebook account, because its the cause of the argument ytd, if not for it you wont argue le. I also never block you on whatsapp, i just off lastseen and blue tick, that will be another one of the cause of arguing, im sure of it. Idk i feel like there is alot more i want to say, but I cant think of any right now, so after reading this if you want me to reply you, i hope that you can reply nicely and dont talk about it anymore if you really can stop or forget about it, if not just dont reply me until you think you can talk normally ok, i really HATE arguing alot, more than anything that i hate on earth. So if you reply me to want to argue agn, i rather you not reply ok, i really dw to argue. Thats all i want to say, if you want to argue then dont reply at all ok. Lastly, sorry for whatever happened ytd. |